Surgery Again

A three day trip...ahhhh not as quick as we thought!
Wish I packed more than three pairs of underwear :(

Okay, so here's the scoop.
Came up to NYC for some tests and found that once again there is a downward pull trying to suck my brain down that long straw that runs to my butt.
Sorry if I am using too much medical terminology, but it's complicated:)

Anyhow, during the Frankenstein test with the bolts screwed in my head, the doctors started discussing the fusion, and other options. By the time the screws were removed, I was set for surgery on Monday. However, the odd twist of events is that I will not be fused on Monday (thank God). Instead, they feel that an occult tethered cord is the culprit. So come 12:30 Monday, I will officially be de-tethered. They say it will help with bladder, lower back strain, and feeling in my feet. And hopefully, it may eliminate the need for a cervical fusion as well.

It is Not A Brain Surgery!
All in the spine and a useless part at that. They call it the easy surgery, because it is simple for them. Basically it sounds like the surgeon with the scissors would have to have a grand mal seizure during the operation to mess me up. (Just teasing, but it truly is a surgery they are very familiar with here at TCI)
They snip a non-functional (we hope, lol) strand that they have a big long name for....but who knows what it is. Please note a bucket handle was screwed to my skull, attached to a pulley with 25 pounds of weight pulling my head up, as this was discussed.
Sounds painful, but it wasn't. The only painful part during the procedure was when they took me off the traction and all the weight of the contraption laid on my head as they detached me screw by screw.

Sore afterwards though. I think that those ten minutes or so I was knocked out in the beginning to place the traction, all the surgeons took turns smacking me around a bit. My jaw won't open all the way yet. They say this is because those muscle are attached to where the screws went in. But I still think it was a doctor's right hook :P

Ok, so not worried about the surgery. Heck at this point nothing sounds serious after you have had brain surgery. If the bartender knows his stuff you get a pinch from the IV, and open your eyes as doctors discuss important details of how everything went, while you are still trying to figure out why wires are attached to all parts of your body.
I get a long nap Monday afternoon, and that's about the extent of it on my end. However, I do hear it is quite painful. A few people at the Variety House say that it was the hardest recovery surgery they had.
So pray I don't have a lot of pain.

Also pray for my docs tomorrow. Not just for my surgery, but for whatever is going on in their own personal lives. Surgeons get a lot of prayer for their hands, and minds....but how much prayer actually goes for their hearts if they aren't already "plugged in"

I will be up in NYC for another week. They say about 3-5 days in the hospital and then 48 hours more before travel. But it all depends on how I am doing.
Pray for a short stay cuz that means I am doing well :)

Also more prayer......I know I am asking a lot.........but still...
Grandma has a small in-office eye surgery Wed morning, and I am a little worried about her and Robin at the end of this week without me and mom around. Just keep them both in your prayers this week.

Thanks guys!
Peace,
Q

Zip it Chiari!

The journey has led to into a storm; a twister if you may. Someone once explained a tornado to me as a storm that has turned in on itself. Sometimes I feel my body is it’s own form of this violent weather.

The vast bubble of fluid resting outside of my scull disappeared overnight after a someone-please-kill-me-migraine. Yes, I am sure everyone can relate to one of those at some point in their life. The headache which actually leads you to think that forcibly removing that part of your scull with a hammer, or other useful devise, might actually improve the situation.

The next morning I wake up with a hangover-like feeling, and a normal feeling scull. I thought perhaps I was drinking the night before and perhaps was still drunk, imagining this. On the second day, I was rejoicing that indeed no alcohol was involved!
My head was normal….although I did go to bed with a pretty nasty headache.
Then on the third day, my brain swallowed my scull….again, if you remember earlier posts regarding this matter.
It feels almost like a piece is missing or sucked in behind that plate of titanium, which didn’t set off the airline alarms by the way on my way back from Phoenix. What is up with airline security? That bothered me. However, not being patted down, now that was priceless.
Anyhow, I asked the surgeon about it and we postponed the shunt to wait and see what is going on. He saw this as a “oh wow, perhaps you might not need the shunt”; where I saw it as “Oh crap, you have no idea what is wrong with me!”
Perspective is everything.
I panicked, and when I say panic I don’t mean got a little nervous. I mean snot-nosed sobbing, and freaking out type of ordeal which usually can only be controlled by God’s grace or Xanax.
I was focused on the storm and felt myself sinking. I let myself sink to the point where I even questioned my place in ministry. How could God use me when my brain is on a manifest gusto, sneaking down my spine and devouring my scull? I felt useless, and incapable in an instant.
Not being in the know, and more importantly, the experts not being in the know, really brought me to my knees.
And that’s not a bad place to go. I think getting weak in the knees only puts us in the right position where we should have been in the first place.
Putting my focus back on Christ, the storm began to fade. And I realized, or should I say remembered, it’s not about me.
Again perspective is everything.
Now I find myself in an awesome territory called peace, located directly in the eye of the storm.
I know this concave scull thing can’t be good…but we don’t have answers today. SO, why worry about what I can not control?!
The doctors are checking into it, and hopefully will come back with answers.
In the meantime, I say Zip it Chiari! I am not sitting down until the captain flashes the “fasten your seatbelt” sign.
We will figure this out in the proverbial tomorrow…For now, I am moving forward, while comfortably resting in today.
Peace,
Q

Smothered in Grace

I have been saturated in God's grace for the last three weeks. Instead of noticing aches and pains from recovery, I have just been blown away in the reality that this recovery is sooo much easier than the first.........and the surgery was greater.........I mean they took part of my brain......not a big part......not that I use it much.......but they took it.......so shouldn't I be having a harder time?

Ok, so for those that have read A Day Without Chiari, you know how a brief lived miracle floored me. Now imagine how I am handling this. I will just say, very emotionally. For those who know me personally, this may be hard to believe, but tears come often. I have been a Christian for my entire life, and still His glory floors me all the time.

All this to say........this last week has been hard. lol

I have settled into the grace long enough to get comfortable I guess.......comfortable enough to notice that I am in some pain!
I think I am overdoing it without realizing.
I am just so exciting that I am not throwing up, that I can walk, and see, and read......... that perhaps I am trying to hard to race to the next phase.

So tomorrow I am going to rest, and try something I haven't done in a while: sit silently and listen.
I used to try this often.....it is something I read by a Willowcreek Pastor who said that we need to sit in silence and listen to God. She said silence meant not to be praying or thinking about anything........just starting by praying "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening" then sitting patiently to hear the voice of God.

I am not that patient. She suggested a half hour. I had to set my alarm clock for five minutes, so I would stop looking at the clock. I eventually got to the half hour.....but it took a long time.....and a lot of God's patience as I would often replace silence in the beginning with grocery lists, or other random thoughts.
Silence is a tricky place in today's world. We have so many ways to ignore it, that we are no longer comfortable in it. I am here to tell ya though that, once I got there, just a few minutes in silence at a time, I found such peace in the silence I wouldn't dare to try to put into words.

Chiari has stolen a lot of peace over the years...........and it is time that I regain a sliver of that.

So starting tomorrow, I am spending five minutes in silence. Wish we well!