Thursday, October 11, 2007

Smothered in Grace

I have been saturated in God's grace for the last three weeks. Instead of noticing aches and pains from recovery, I have just been blown away in the reality that this recovery is sooo much easier than the first.........and the surgery was greater.........I mean they took part of my brain......not a big part......not that I use it much.......but they took shouldn't I be having a harder time?

Ok, so for those that have read A Day Without Chiari, you know how a brief lived miracle floored me. Now imagine how I am handling this. I will just say, very emotionally. For those who know me personally, this may be hard to believe, but tears come often. I have been a Christian for my entire life, and still His glory floors me all the time.

All this to say........this last week has been hard. lol

I have settled into the grace long enough to get comfortable I guess.......comfortable enough to notice that I am in some pain!
I think I am overdoing it without realizing.
I am just so exciting that I am not throwing up, that I can walk, and see, and read......... that perhaps I am trying to hard to race to the next phase.

So tomorrow I am going to rest, and try something I haven't done in a while: sit silently and listen.
I used to try this is something I read by a Willowcreek Pastor who said that we need to sit in silence and listen to God. She said silence meant not to be praying or thinking about anything........just starting by praying "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening" then sitting patiently to hear the voice of God.

I am not that patient. She suggested a half hour. I had to set my alarm clock for five minutes, so I would stop looking at the clock. I eventually got to the half hour.....but it took a long time.....and a lot of God's patience as I would often replace silence in the beginning with grocery lists, or other random thoughts.
Silence is a tricky place in today's world. We have so many ways to ignore it, that we are no longer comfortable in it. I am here to tell ya though that, once I got there, just a few minutes in silence at a time, I found such peace in the silence I wouldn't dare to try to put into words.

Chiari has stolen a lot of peace over the years...........and it is time that I regain a sliver of that.

So starting tomorrow, I am spending five minutes in silence. Wish we well!


lace1070 said...

Silence is a golden and precious thing ~ I know I fill my days with noises both inside and outside of my head ~ I am trying to learn how to sit and listen to God ~ amazing things happen when I do. Praying that you will find peace and strength in your silence. ~Lace