Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Men are from Mars; Q is from Jupiter

Halt! I come in peace!!!

So last week I brought a new trend to Fredneck.
It hasn't caught on yet, but just look at it;
how could it not?!!!

For me, I barely notice it.
Okay, that was an inside joke for others out there who have had to (or currently) wear this getup. It is anything but subtle!

It is quite an adjustment. Not just for my neck either.
Before I got the Apsen CTO Jacket; I was most afraid of how I would appear in the brace.
What a fool am I.

The truth is, it is so monstrous and ridiculously huge that not a single person would dare stare. And even when it catches someones attention (how could it not; it doesn't necessarily blend in), they see it from a distance, so by the time I can see their reaction the person would have had time to adjust the jaw drop.

Most people around me try to pretend it isn't there; which does bring humor to my day. It is the purple elephant in the middle of the room. Then there is my sister who doesn't have ID control. SO she calls it how she sees it.

She calls it weird. I call it my chasity belt. There is no better way to keep me single at this given time; then this jacket. I have done the research! So anyone out there having issues with relationships, this might be the answer you have been looking for.

What I didn't realize was what an adjustment it was going to be physically.
I tried to wear it all day the first day.
Not such a good idea.
I was so sore and exhausted once I took if off, I was afraid it was going to throw me into some kind of seizure.
So now I am taking it a few hours at a time, up to 6 hours.
I absolutely wear it in the car; but not so much in public places.......unless I disguise it with a scarf and large coat.

And believe me it isn't fooling anyone...
but for some reason if it is covered, I can pretend they can't see it.
It is like reverting to a 2 year old mentality when it is on; if I cover my eyes, you can't see me :)

As I said before; It is an adjustment.
And I am getting a little less fatigued by the thing. I am still though learning how to do things in it; like does anyone out there know how to use to phone; sit down; or eat in this thing?

It's so enormous; it is laughable.
There is no way to wear this thing, and not see the humor.
How ever, spiritually I am still open for God's answer to how this fits into his plan for me.
I know it does; I just don't have a clue how.

Some days you just wanna sit down with God at a table and have him draw the map out.
Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know if you do run into me someday in this thing;
It is just me.
And yes, you too may sport this new style.

But I will warn you that it is for the more conservative dressers; it only comes in slate gray.


lace1070 said...

Queli ~ good to read that you haven't lost your sense of humor:) Somehow you will make the CTO Jacket fashionable ~ just send one to one of the many fashionistas out there and it will be so popular that everyone will be wearing them! Just look at the resurgence of the moon boots disguised as snowjoggers ~ http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/8080/lindsfz7.jpg
Seriously ~ who are they kidding???